Thursday, November 8, 2012

Eye of the beholder

It's pretty well acknowledged from people who know me that I have terrible taste in men.

And by that I don't mean McLovin... It's a mystery that I ended up with someone as normal looking as him.

Just add 15 years... Be jealous. I get this every night...

I'm talking celebrity men who make my heart go pitterpat. Let's review...


The Be all end all celebrity love of my life

Shhhhh... No more words.... Our hearts beat as one...
He is older then my father and for awhile people didn't know if he was a man or woman... gay or straight... All I can say is the Goblin King stole my heart at a very young age and he will remain there... Foreva!

But let's be clear... I'm not a stalker. I don't know his life story. I'm not hanging outside his garbage shoot so I can rub his coffee grounds in my hair. AND judging by his marriage to the beautiful statuesque Somalian model Iman, I am quite sure my barely over 5' whiter than sour cream ass would not be the stuff of fantasy for the Thin White Duke.

So don't worry David. There's no need for alarm. My love is pure and locked away in my heart.


Some Runners Up... Or as Mclovin puts it... the freak show... 


Mick Jagger
Always the joker, Mick decided to dress as an angry growler for Halloween...
It's rumored he slept with David Bowie... (I wouldn't mind being the filling in THAT sandwich...) And Pete Townshend has even gone on record in his autobiography Who Am I that "Mick is the only man I've ever seriously wanted to fuck."... Maroon 5 and Christina Aguilera want Moves like Jagger and even & JLo know he is T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever) 

I feel we should all just stop fighting what so many people already know... He has laid enough pipe to bring the fireworks in the boom boom room and he has enough stories to blow your mind as well... Win to the mother-fucking Win.

Need more proof??? Observe... Hard like trigonometry indeed... 

Jack White
Does this mustache make me look like a kid toucher?
Jack White of the White Stripes, The Raconteurs, The Dead Weather and solo fame. He sings, acts, plays guitar, the drums, the piano, writes songs... If that bucket load of talent doesn't light some fires I don't know what will. Sure he's a little eccentric. And it was rumored that he was boning his sister, who turned out to be his ex-wife... But these things are just part of his charm.


The Predator
Looking for someone to probe big boy???
If I had to bone an alien this is my pick...
The Predator is Dead Sexy.
Seriously who do you think has a bigger dong? The Predator or one of those bug-eyed mother fuckers??? I'm an extraterrestrial size queen.

He doesn't pack much in the pants but he'll eye fuck the shit out of you...


There are more but I will leave you wondering who else made the list... because I'm a Lady and ladies don't give at all away for free.

Who's on your list?