Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Not Your Grandma's Knitting!

IMs with Queen B

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Queen B - Dude, you need to read this article, http://www.iamnotthebabysitter.com/vaginal-knitting/ I have been anxiously waiting to show you since 3am! I was so excited!!!

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Me -  Sweet Jesus, why would anyone put WOOL in their vagina?!?!?! Honestly! "It's harder to knit whilst menstruating"... Fucking brain food right there!

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Queen B - I was in shock whilst reading it

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Me - I feel like I'm pretty pro vagina, but i don't want to store wool up there. Wool is itchy. She should have treated herself right and stuffed cashmere up there. That's a pro vagina knitting project I can get behind!

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Queen B - Read the comment from Laura at 11:12am. Do u see it?

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Me - The one from Laura "the artist" responding to Kris?

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Queen B - Yes, there are 2... read both.

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Me - Wow her husband took her dildos... Rude.

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Queen B - Keep reading....

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Me - SWEET MOTHER OF  FIST FUCK! She threw fist fucking in there! Holy crap I think my Vag just shriveled up on itself!

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Queen B - RIGHT!

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Me - How does her husband fist fucking her relate at all to knitting with wool stored in her vagina? It's just for the shock value... WAIT

Maybe.... because after all the fist fucking she has enough room up there to store the wool needed for the 28 day project!

BOOM..... The world makes sense again.

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Queen B - There was so much WTF wrapped up in this article my mind was blown. Of course our old roommate would probably wear that scarf.

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Me - Our old roommate will read that article and make her own Vag scarf complete with ombre effect whilst menstruating. Then she would brag about her prowess on facebook.

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Queen B - Well, I don't get the purpose of knitting a scarf from your vagina. WTF is the point!

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 Me - I don't like that to be pro vagina I have to treat it like a side show. Can't I just pamper the shit out of my vag privately and be done?

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Queen B - But how the fuck does she piss & shit with that in there?

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Me - Ummm you are aware that poop comes out of your butt NOT your Vag and pee comes out of a different hole than the baby hole... It comes out of the pee hole. The vag has the lock down on secret compartments

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Queen B - I'm sure pee sprinkles onto the scarf.

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Me - She's bleeding on the wool too ass!!! I feel like fluids getting on the wool isn't really a big concern in this project.

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Queen B - And what does she do after it's done? Does she wear it? Give it as a gift?

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Me - Probably hang it in a museum would be my guess. That shit is historic now.

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Queen B - My favorite part of Jude's comment is "If a dude did something like knit a scarf from wool that was wrapped around his dick, people would rightly think it was weird. " I crack up when I read it. Every. Time.

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Me - What Jude isn't realizing is that the vag has been oppressed in ways the the dick hasn't... Plus, you can't store wool IN a dick... so it's not as "performance artsy".... You have to think like them to get it... Open you mind. Let the new thoughts in. Expand your world view.

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Queen B - Dude I'm sorry but it's fucking gross. I guess I'm not artsy enough to "get it"

I posted the link on my Facebook!  I am dying to see what people say about it!!!
I'm not even kidding you, I was seriously excited to show you today.

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Me - I love that you see an article on Vag knitting and I'm the first person you want to share it with!

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Queen B - OMG I felt like a kid on Christmas when I came across it & I immediately knew that you needed to read it.