Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Dear Jen,

Dear Jen,

(I like to think I can call you Jen, even though we never met. Since I read your blog I feel like we're friends... Obviously I don't have many real friends. But don't worry, I'm not one of those stalker, I want to wear your face as a mask kind of friends... Those are the WORST friends. I more of a wall flower internet friend. :) See you can tell by my smiley emoticon.)
Your stewing has cause me to stew... And I would appreciate if you stayed out of my stew.

I am of course stewing about your Whoa, Indeed post. 
(If you haven't read it please click the link here... I will wait. )
Done? Ok good.

I'm stewing Jen.  And let me tell you why...

Woah is actually a perfectly correct way to spell "Whoa". The OED lists woah as a variant of woa which is a variant of whoa, which is a variant of the interjection who (not to be confused with the pronoun who--the interjection is pronounced as wo--which is also a variant of all these), which came into the language as a variant of ho!

Therefore your whole blog about the travesty of  a misspelling getting printed in a national ad campaign is no longer really valid. I'll admit going the whole OED route is a little "uber nerd" but I didn't make the woah/whoa rules.  

This is just me being nitpicky...


I don't know how all ad agencies work but I do work for an ad agency. I can tell you right now there are not that many people looking at an ad before it gets to the client. Using Mad Men for your basis on how an ad agency works would be like me judging your life off Carrie in Sex and The City.

I would like to think that whoever designed the Skinny Cow ad had tons of time to get their creative juices flowing but, I wouldn't bet money on them having more than a day max.  Also, I wouldn't be at all surprised if the project request was this: Skinny Cow ad to make people feel bubbly and magical and like rainbows might shoot out of their butts.

Client / Agency relationship perfectly illustrated here.

This isn't my main annoyance... It is a common misconception and maybe Skinny Cow did use a huge agency with multiple layers of management.


This is the one that really tweaked my nipples.

Blaming Generation Y...

Really... really.... This "error" is obviously  the work of Generation Y???

I am not too pleased about these broad labels that get thrown all over Generation Y... I'm not saying that there aren't people out there who deserve it.  I know a lot of whinny self worshiping hipsters who need to get their silver spoons surgically removed from their mouths. But, for you to  blindly blame someone from Generation Y because we are all a bunch of lazy sloppy tools is driving me up a wall.

I shouldn't be surprised though... Don't older Generations always hate the younger generations? I'm sure my Grandparents thought Woodstock was the beginning of the Apocalypse and the four horsemen were disguised as dirty hippies.

Also, have you seen Generation Z? They seem like a bunch of shifty bastards if you ask me. Definitely not to be trusted. Something about the eyes... Lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. Gives me the creeps  

So please don't pigeon hole an entire generation because you have a chip on your shoulder about some Generation X's being out of work and a "misspelled" Skinny Cow ad.

Or we could just agree to disagree... Because that's what friends do.


Lucky Z

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Penguins... The Dirty Cover Up

McLovin - Did you hear? Penguins are pervs.

Me - No, but now I'm intriged. Go on...

McLovin - Apparently there was a study back in 1910 when they went to the poles.... and they were appalled by their behaivor and didn't publish the info until now.

Me - Really... That txt is the equivalant of a cock tease. What is this super secret penguin perv intell!?!?!?

McLovin - Here is the article: Pervy Penguins Read At Your Own Risk

Me - Well there you have it. I always knew that "March of the Penguins" documentary was covering up a dark secret.

McLovin - Who knew that their tuxes covered up such debauchery.

Me - The bigger question is how did the French film crew benefit from covering up this behavior?

McLovin - I guess lots of used tissues.

Me - It would be just like those dirty penguins to pay them off in flipper-jobs. And then they sold the film as family friendly! The outrage!

The ugly face of bestiality...

Tuesday, June 12, 2012


Me - So I had a nightmare last night that Kim Kardashian's mom destroyed my chap stick. I mean who does that shit? I was really pissed off when I woke up this morning.

Queen B - Dude. That is so random.

Me - The weirdest part was she destroyed it because she thought I was hitting on Kim's husband... Who is now her ex... But in my dream they were still married. When really the only reason I was talking to him was to find out what type of shoes I should buy... flats, heals or strappy sandals. That lady is a menace... she has to be stopped

Queen B - The weirdest part about that whole description is that you were talking to someone about shoes.

 Me - Well to be fair... I was asking because I had no idea what type of shoe to buy... and I was asking a dude who had no idea either.... apparently even in my dreams I'm not fashion forward.

Queen B - True

Me - I'm hoping tonight I dream that I stab a bitch... you don't mess with someones chap stick... this isn't over Kim's mom!

Queen B - Nice. I hope the saga continues.

Me - I'll keep you posted

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Interview Etiquette 101

I see a lot of stuff online about interview etiquette. Stuff like "Dress to Impress" or "Smile" or "Don't be an Asshole"... It's a little insane how many articles there are out there with the same advice over and over and over. It made me think of the last time McLovin had an interview.

He was applying for a job within the same company so he knew the guy who was interviewing him.


Txts Before interview:

McLovin - Should I start the interview with "Hey, haven't I seen you naked?"

Me - Probably... It would be a good ice breaker.


Txts After interview:

McLovin - OK, the interview went well. I hope I get the job.

Me - I knew it would go well. If you have won a starring contest with someone's taint it's pretty hard to fuck up the interview.

McLovin - touché


Just to clear up the whole naked thing.

The company has a gym. Sometimes people go to the gym at lunch. Sometimes people use the showers after the gym. Some people like to cover up immediately after taking a shower. Some other people like to wander around the locker room naked as a jay bird making everyone else uncomfortable. Sometimes those naked people like to engage in conversations with clothed people as if they are fully clothed.

So you see, opening with "I have seen you naked" would have been true in this case. It's probably not the best opener if you want to land the job though.

I know in America we are a little uptight about the nude thing. But honestly if I work with someone I really don't want to know how they shave their bush. Also please at least have some type of bottom on before bending over... I do not need a glimpse into your black hole.   

Friday, June 1, 2012

Happy Friday!

Let's all celebrate like this guy!  

PS - His move around the 40 second mark is going to be my new IT move.

For those that are curious THIS used to be my signature move until Nick Cannon whipped it out on AGT (around 28 second mark.). Now that the move is all main stream I guess I have to branch out. Thanks a lot Nick Cannon you dick hole!