txts with McLovin
McLovin: Did you talk to your Mom about this weekend? You don't want to get to their house at 9am if they are running around the house naked.
Me: OMG I'm emailing her now... I do not need to meet the house boy Juan.*
*Juan is my Dad's alter ego at home. He "becomes" Juan whenever he does domestic chores around the house. It is pretty disturbing because I think the House Boy Juan likes to bang the Boss Lady... Who would be my Mom. While it's great that they are still happy and boning in their 60's, I don't need to take part in their fantasies. Whenever I call their house and my Dad answers with a Spanish accent it makes my ears bleed and a part of my soul shrivels up to cry in a corner.
McLovin: hmmm Maybe we need characters to accompany our dirty talk... I know a cat named Eduardo.
Me: Did you just give my lady garden a boys' name?
McLovin: No. Remember Eduardo? The Hurricane of Love.
Me: I remember the Hurricane of Love Eduardo but you said a cat named Eduardo. So I was wondering who that was and weather I was high on Nyquil when I met him.
McLovin: No. He's a cooool cat. A Spanish Hipster.
Me: I see. This is good. It means we are drifting away from our dirty talk involving carnies. I didn't want to dress up like the Yak Woman.
McLovin: I was going to be the pixy dust spreader on the tilt-a-whirl.
Me: You can spread my pixy dust anytime. wink wink
McLovin: So we're back to the carnie games?
Me: Damn It!