Friday, November 4, 2011


txts with McLovin


McLovin: Did you talk to your Mom about this weekend? You don't want to get to their house at 9am if they are running around the house naked.

Me: OMG I'm emailing her now... I do not need to meet the house boy Juan.*

*Juan is my Dad's alter ego at home. He "becomes" Juan whenever he does domestic chores around the house. It is pretty disturbing because I think the House Boy Juan likes to bang the Boss Lady... Who would be my Mom. While it's great that they are still happy and boning in their 60's, I don't need to take part in their fantasies. Whenever I call their house and my Dad answers with a Spanish accent it makes my ears bleed and a part of my soul shrivels up to cry in a corner.

McLovin: hmmm Maybe we need characters to accompany our dirty talk... I know a cat named Eduardo.

Me: Did you just give my lady garden a boys' name?

McLovin: No. Remember Eduardo? The Hurricane of Love.

Me: I remember the Hurricane of Love Eduardo but you said a cat named Eduardo. So I was wondering who that was and weather I was high on Nyquil when I met him.

McLovin: No. He's a cooool cat. A Spanish Hipster.

Me: I see. This is good. It means we are drifting away from our dirty talk involving carnies. I didn't want to dress up like the Yak Woman.

McLovin: I was going to be the pixy dust spreader on the tilt-a-whirl.

Me: You can spread my pixy dust anytime. wink wink

McLovin: So we're back to the carnie games?

Me: Damn It!

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