Tuesday, July 17, 2012

People Zoo

Me - Do you ever think about what would happen to us if Aliens took over the planet?

McLovin - Yeah... We would be toast.

Me - No, like if they decided to keep us like pets. To study us. I wonder what that would be like. What would they put in our environment.

McLovin - Why would they keep us? We're assholes.

Me - Well Hippos are assholes too and we keep them in zoos.

McLovin - True.

Me - So would they give us a whole house to roam around in or just one room?

McLovin - Probably one room.

Me - And they would probably try breading us in captivity like we do now with zoo animals. But what if they split us up!?!?! Aliens don't care if your married.

McLovin - Looks like I'm getting some strange.

Me - Really? You would just go for it?

McLovin - Well they split us up? I don't know if I will ever see you again. How long do you expect me to carry a torch for you?

Me - Wow... So that's it then. If aliens invade and put you in a pen with some whore your gonna dive right in?

McLovin - Well, to be fair I would probably wait till they brought in the Panda Porn.

Me - Wait what?

McLovin - You know... Cause sometimes the Pandas have trouble doing it in captivity... So they show them Panda Porn to put them in the mood. Only I would want People Porn... Panda Porn would just be weird. I would hold out for the people porn.

Me - Yes, well you have to draw the line somewhere I suppose.


  1. This might just be the most awesome thing I've read all week. Thanks for the severe chuckle.