My friend Queen B is the definition of a button pusher.
She will say /ask anything in the effort to get a response. She feeds off embarrassing people and that will only instigate her to keep going... I have found the best way to shut her down is to lead the discussion to the ridiculous until she gets frustrated and gives up...
Queen B - So did u have wild sex this weekend?
Me - Nope, we decided to have mediocre sex... See how the other half lives.
Queen B - Does McLovin ever cry during sex?
Me - Yeah all the time, because sex with me is like a fucking holy experience... He has found God and he resides in my Lady Garden... so spread the word.
Queen B - No dick, does he ever get emotional because you're the mother of his child.
Me - I just told you sexing me is a holy experience... it's fucking divinity personified... My tits can blind the unfaithful.
Queen B - No.
Me - It's true.
Queen B - That's not what I'm talking about.
Me - You better not come around me when I'm topless cause it sounds like you're a non believer, you dirty sinner. I'll melt your face like the Ark in that Indiana Jones movie.
Queen B - Your an asshole.
Me - Well you have been warned. I can smite you with the wrath of a thousand sun's just by uncrossing my legs.