Really Pampers?

Does anyone notice anything a little off about this box? 

Hail Pampers!*

Perhaps the Pampers Marketing department should rethink this box design?
Way to go Pampers Marketing Team!  

*I know this wasn't intentional but I feel the choice of baby (blond hair blue eyes) and his positioning is a little unfortunate. 

This Is Why Girls Don't Plan Bachelor Parties.

Queen B - OK so listen to this...

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Me - Whats up?

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Queen B - So J is trying to plan B's bachelor party & of course it's gonna involve strippers

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Me - Right... Obviously

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Queen B - He was saying that he wants to go somewhere that serves food & has dancers so that if someone wants to get a lap dance, they can do it at their leisure instead of having girls hawking you for dollars. So I thought of this place right near my work XX. Have you heard of it?

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Me - No dick... I don't hang out in strip clubs.... Ass.

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Queen B - It's a steakhouse/"upscale" gentleman's club but they serve alcohol so the girls can't be nude
just real skimpy so here's my thing... J wants me to find out about the steakhouse b/c I know the owner
but if C finds out that I'm basically hooking them up, she'll probably wanna shank me.

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Me - Why? She knows there will be strippers right? If she freaks be like:

Listen bitch.. the strippers... They're happening... so put your big girl pants on and fucking relax. 

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Queen B - Her stipulations were no hotel room with strippers & no private room at a strip club she said she's ok w/ them going to a strip club.

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Me - Right so they are getting dinner and a show. I mean the worse that could happen would be pubes in their steak sauce, but that shit is on them... I have no sympathy

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Queen B - My thing is, I'm trying to see if you get to see boobies while you eat b/c if not, it'll suck, but how do I ask that?

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Me - Just call and say I want dinner and a show... not a bathing suit show... I would watch the miss america pageant for that shit... Will we see tits or should we keep looking?

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Queen B - Well first off, I know they don't show bare tits b/c they sell alcohol but they can wear thongs.

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Me - Why does alcohol = no bare tits?

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Queen B - It's a law dick.

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Me - Bare Tits = no drinks? Well, that's a shitty law. What is america coming to? I don't want to live in a world where I can't enjoy boobies with my bottle of Bud.

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Queen B - It's seriously a law.

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Me - I thought they just needed to keep their pants on.

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Queen B - No i think tops too.

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Me - If there is beer then there is no beaver... I'm pretty sure about that. But the no beaver rule I can get behind because its just unhygienic to be dancing around with that out. I thought the boobs were always on the table though... even with alcohol.

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Queen B - Maybe they are, who knows.

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Me - Well if they aren't we need to write to our congressmen and get that law changed asap. Boobies make everything better. I'm sure you agree.

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Queen B - True.

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15 minutes later...

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Me - So did you call? What did they say?

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Queen B - I can't. You call for me.

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Me - Why the fuck would I call to check on the naked booby situation for you husbands friends bachelor party? So a bunch of dudes can eat steak and bust a nut!?!? You must have lost your mind......... 

I'll check with McLovin.

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Queen B - What did he say???

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Me - He asked why we were interested...

Then said to check the club's website and called us amateurs.

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Queen B - No Bare Boobs - BAM - McLovin is a genius. That saved time.

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Me - Next time tell J to plan his own shit. We've wasted 45 minutes on this... That's a whole lotta time for me to spend trying to figure out the stripper laws of this state. 

Deep Thoughts: With McLovin

About the Gabby Douglas Hair Controversy:

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When I was 16 all I cared about was video games and jerking off... That Gabby should tell those assholes that her hair has more talent then them and to fuck off.... At 16 she has two gold medals... Do you know what I had at 16??? A bunch of used tissues...

--

Yup... McLovin... Keepin it classy.

I can't wait to hear the inspired pep talks he will have for The Spud when he is older...

Has this ever happened to you?

McLovin - What is it about farting in the shower that produces super farts?

Me - It's probably a combo of the water and your vibrating cheeks that makes it more noisy.

McLovin - No no. Not the sound. The smell. It's like egg to the power of two. I got so distracted I couldn't remember if I washed my hair so I had to do it again.

Me - From what your describing I don't recall ever farting in the shower.

McLovin - That's impossible.

Me - Impossible but true.