Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Sesame Street

Me - I found Alphabet Dog and the "bomb" angry bird in a compromising position this morning... Apparently they had quite the x-rated night. Does the corruption of our children know no bounds?

McLovin - Creeps... Tha's why he needs Sesame Street.

Me - Let's hope it's still as pure as our childhood memories when it was still ok for two grown man puppets and their rubber ducky to take a bubble bath together.

McLovin - I thought they killed one of them.

Me - I think that was a myth... That Bert got hit by a school bus to teach of the perils of crossing the road.

... 10 min later ...

Yup, Bert's on the website touting "Argyle Socks are the Greatest" whilst holding up a photo of two pigeons... I forgot he had a thing for pigeons.

McLovin - I forgot that too.

Me - So I guess Bert and Ernie were gay* and Bert is also rocking bestiality with those pigeons. Ernie on the other hand is in love with his rubber ducky. So I guess that's the modern day equivalent to a real doll?

McLovin - For puppets that is indeed a real doll.

Me - I wonder what other messed up shit we missed as innocent youths.

McLovin - Well it appears that The Count has crippling OCD but everyone acts like he is OK because his obsession is incredibly useful on a kids show.

Me - Indeed.

*Official statement from Sesame Street:  Bert and Ernie are best friends. They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves. Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics (as most Sesame Street Muppets™ do), they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.

You can't make this shit up people.

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