Techy Talk

txts with McLovin

------

Me - Guess who's computer just blue screened!

--

McLovin - Huh... If my PC did that as frequently as yours there would be an "untimely" coffee spill in its future.

--

Me - It happens when I'm VPNed into another network. My PC craps itself like a scared wombat every time I click the mouse.

--

McLovin - So your saying it's an unadventurous coward?

--

Me - Apparently... But if it keeps it up it's gonna be having an adventure with a screwdriver... Just call me the tickler...

--

McLovin - Saucy

--

Me - Yeah Baby talk techy to me

--

McLovin - Do you have a drive that needs more RAM?

--

Me - Is your name Wi-fi because I'm feeling your connection...

--

McLovin - I hear you need that empty PCI slot filled?

--

Me - I want you to take my cover off and insert a bigger CPU.

--

McLovin - So your saying you want to see my firewire?

--

Me - Sure do you need me to come over and unzip your files?

--

McLovin - Stop your gonna make my software turn into hardware!

--

Me - Sad... I was hoping you wouldn't block my Pop-Ups.

--

McLovin - Well consider yourself blocked I have a meeting and you're spiking my traffic.

--

Me - Sinner...

It's gonna be a loooooooooooong stinky day!

This is an old post I meant to publish when the spud was only a few months old...

Luckily this does not describe what I am dealing with today... No no my friends... Today I have been dealing with blueberry poops. And if you have never experienced blueberry poops then you haven't lived.

=================================================================

Me - Oh look. It's before 9:30 am and I have pee on me. I'm scared because the spud is eating and I keep getting whiffs of fon-dook. There has been no materialization of said dook yet, but I fear it's just a matter of time with all the toot-a-looting... Pray for me.

--

McLovin - Peed on and now he's dooking? Sorry Babe, rough start to the day.

--

Me - No no... Not dooking yet. The threat of dook. I would say I am at code orange... Or should I say, stink level eggy-milk.

--

McLovin -  Ewwwwww

--

Me - And by eggy-milk I don't mean eggnog which is both festive and delightful... but more... Did this milk turn? OH GOD! Don't sniff the container, it smells like the Dairy Queen's butt hole fermented!

--

McLovin -  That's a colorful description.

--

Me - I thought it would help illustrate what type of situation I'm dealing with over here.

--

McLovin -  Oh it did.  

Mermaids

I'm not sure if you have heard about the mockcumentary "Mermaids" that has been aired causing people to believe mermaids actually swim among us and shit but, part II aired last week (??? maybe??? hopefully this is semi current)

I forced  McLovin to watch the first installment but he adamantly refused to watch the second because he was physically angry after the first.

But he very thoughtfully recorded it for me because he knows how much I love watching some crazy.

Below are our texts...

--

me: Dude the Kardashians believe in mermaids after the first documentary. They tweeted about it. This show is Gold!

--

McLovin: Sigh...

--

Me: So Barnum as in *THE* Barnum Circus and Freak Show had a "real mermaid" and the photos are just being released because they were lost all this time... They look JUST LIKE the mermaids from the first show!!!! Can you believe it? I bet you can't believe it. The Plot thickens....

--

McLovin: Ugggg

--

Me: Now they are showing compelling YouTube video evidence from the "YouTubes"... Shit... The evidence has been there the whole time but we were all too blind to see it!

--

McLovin: Sounds like I am missing a mind explosion.

--

Me: It's so compelling... It's so now. It's really making the plight of the mermaids POP.

--

McLovin : .....

--

Me: Jesus Tap-dancing Christ!!!

They reappeared!!! There is NEW video evidence that is about to be revealed for the FIRST TIME EVER!!!! You have to get down here and watch this. Hold onto your butts!

--

McLovin : .....

--

Me: You will not believe this but after these Danish Bastards shared their video of the misunderstood mermaid with the Greenland peeps they halted ALL new oil drilling licenses.

BOOM. Proof...

--

McLovin: I'm sorry I missed all that...

Wait... No, I'm not.

--

Me: The program ended where we began... filled with both questions... And Wonder....

--

McLovin: ..... sigh

==

McLovin obviously is missing the point of the show but it gets better... News stations all over the country AND  even the US Government had to make statements that the show is fake.

I LOVE this shit! I love knowing there are people walking around believing mermaids are real because the show was on the Discovery Channel... And they don't lie you know... They Discover.