Tuesday, June 21, 2011

PIMP MY BROCCOLI


This is how dinner is decided in our house:
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McLovin: Thoughts on dinner? Would you want salad or are you still scared of Romaine lettuce?  We could have grilled chicken and baked potatoes?

This was during the romaine lettuce  e coli outbreak... You know where e coli lives? In your butt... That means the romaine lettuce was really butt lettuce. Nothing makes a salad fresher then a side of butt bacteria.

Me: Grilled chix... baked potatoe and broccoli... mmmmmm sold!

McLovin: Ummm broccoli?  Who said anything about broccoli?  Unless of course you mean taking the broccoli, mashing it up with the potatoes and some chez and then placing it back into the baked shell...that would be OK.  With some bacon bits on top.

Me: Why are you ruining my broccoli... it's a perfectly respectable veggie and then you have to go and whore it out by slathering it in cheese and bacon...

McLovin: If you want me eating this "perfectly respectable veggie" then it'll be whored out in cheesy bacon goodness.

Me: I don't think the Jolly Green Giant would appreciate your intentions.

McLovin: You know it sounds good...and technically the only "bad" thing is the bacon.  And that's debatable.  Bacon is healthy in 90% of America's eyes.  True story...I have a keyboard in front of me that I typed it on so it must be true.

Me: It's still dressing the broccoli up to be all fancy like a $5 hooker just so unsuspecting people will nibble on her yummy goodness... only instead of just giving you vitamins she also passes on the added salt and fat from the bacon and cheese... aka food herpes.

McLovin: Mmmmmm food herpes are delicious.

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For your broccoli entertainment... I'm choppin BroccoLi!

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