Wednesday, May 30, 2012

It Has Begun...

Did you see this article???

http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/05/29/naked-man-chews-other-guys-face-shot-dead-by-cops/

Apparently a naked homeless guy was found eating another mans face off.

And that my friends is what nightmares are made of.

McLovin came home last night practically giddy about this news. He is now convinced the Zombies have come and that this is the first little blip to let us know they are here.

I know... How do I live with this person???

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McLovin - Did you hear the news? A naked homeless man was found eating someones face off in Florida!

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Me - And your excited about this why???

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McLovin - Don't you know what this means? Zombies! They are finally here! And they're naked!

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Me - It probably means he was on a shit ton of drugs and was hallucinating he was a stripper named Savage Candy.

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McLovin - Government made zombie drugs that make you eat peoples faces off! Yeah!

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Me - You said he was homeless, he was probably just hungry.  

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McLovin - Really? You think eating someones face off is normal hungry behavior? They had to shoot him multiple times before they finally killed him too. The bullets had no effect. Not until they got him with a head shot! That's like Zombie 101 shit right there.

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Me - Look all I'm saying is maybe you like to jump onto the zombie bandwagon early... Remember the zombie Squirrel?

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McLovin - OMG I can't believe your bringing him up now! He was sitting on the side of the road EATING another squirrel... That's not normal!

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Me - It is if you have rabies.

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McLovin - Listen... This homeless guy was a Zombie... He didn't think he is stripper named Savage Candy and he didn't have rabies... Tonight while you sleep I'm gonna shave your head... Because I love you.

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Me - Well great. A naked homeless man decides to go buck wild and turn his friends face into a buffet and I get my head shaved.... Thanks a lot Florida.

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McLovin - Don't thank Florida, thank the Zombies.

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So thanks Zombies you insufferable assholes. Now my husband is on high alert and thinks he needs to shave my head out of love to protect me. I had to hide the razors and slept with one eye open last night.

When I become a zombie the first face I'm eating off is that bitch next door who backed into my car.

Whose face are you going to snack on?

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