MOTHER'S DAY GIFT GUIDE!

Everywhere I look online there are helpful little Mother's Day gift guides. And they are full of the same boring crap people give Mom's every year.

For example:

1. Flowers! - Probably the #1 go to gift... You can pick up a bouquet anywhere including the grocery store but I always like the splurge for something with roots and preferably hard to kill. It's the gift that keeps on giving. Kind of like herpes but prettier and less contagious.

2. Wine - Mother's Day is the national holiday for Moms to get their drink on and pay tribute to their destroyed girly bits. Saggy boobs, stretch marks and incontinence if Helena Bonham Carter's pelvic floor is involved.

3.  Something Homemade - This can be anything. A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G. I once painted a rock green and gave it to my Mom for Mother's Day as a paper weight... It is probably the shitiest paper weight you have ever seen but you would have thought that rock was made of solid gold the way my Mom displayed it proudly. They recently moved and she still has that rock. My point is you could probably give your Mom dirty socks and she would love them. Because they came from you... her little love spawn.

...yawn...

BUT luckily I am here with the best most brilliant gift ever for all you crafty motherfuckers out there...

BEHOLD!
*Also, if I had to guess this video is NSFW.

  

Seriously... If my Mom was impressed with a painted rock just wait until she gets a look at these! It's like the most anatomically correct cupcake ever you guys!

*Personally I suggest strawberry cake... It's fun, festive and delicious!