Wednesday, May 23, 2012

TIME BOMBS OF KNOWLEDGE


emails with McLovin

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Me -  I got a reminder on me outlook that I have to register my car... not sure when I put that memo in for myself but I must have been sure that I would forget without the reminder. Did I get anything in the mail for that???

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McLovin - Wow...look at that self managing. Pretty soon I'll be out of a job!*

Yes,  we did get a dmv reg mail the other day. I was going to take care of it since I have to go there to turn in my old plates. You'll have to sign the thingy though. That reminds me, I have to put the inspection extention sticker on Gumpert.**

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Me - I know... apparently I can be organized... I almost fell out of my chair I was so shocked when I got the memo from myself... I was all...

"Wow past self, thanks for looking out for future self and Gumpert... Please keep up the good work"

 It makes me wonder what other little time-bombs of knowledge I have planned for my future self.

 I wouldn't worry about being out of a job though... this type of organizing probably isn't a new leaf... more like... I had coffee that day and was feeling like being an eager beaver to make my future self feel bad about being a slacker.

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This whole exchange sort of reminded me of that movie The Lake House, starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. Which I actually never saw because I always thought the idea of a mailbox sending letters through time was sort of a dumb idea for a rom-com. Plus do I really need to spend two hours of my life waiting for Keanu and Sandy fall for each other again????

At least I used to think it was a dumb idea until I started sending memos to myself through time with outlook.  So now I don't know...

Maybe those Lake House people were on to something and time vortex mail boxes will be the new fad in internet dating since internet dating has become the new hot spot for "playas". It would kind of be like dating Russian Roulette because you stick your letter in and you don't know where the fuck it's going to end up. Which is probably why the postal system is in trouble. Who wants to be sending a check to their electric company just to get it hijacked by some possessed mailbox?

I mean, even if the end result is true love I'm pretty sure the electric company isn't going to be sympathetic to your single and lonely ass when they aren't getting paid and then have to turn off your electric as a lesson to you. So now people all over America will be finding true love through their mail but their utilities will be in a constant state of flux. Honestly it sounds like the business model needs work. And that's why you should only trust letters from the future if they come from yourself.  

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* McLovin manages my life. Without him I would forget to set my alarm for work, never remember to deposit paychecks, and forget to do things like eat lunch. My parents should probably thank him every day for keeping me alive.  I imagine without him I would probably end up looking like some kind of deranged recluse.

**Gumpert is the name of my car. He is the fastest car in the world masquerading as an unassuming compact SUV. Fear him. He will own you as we meander by at the speed of a June Bug on LSD.

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