Friday, April 1, 2011


So I would say I have a pretty normal life. I have a job where I work long hours with a crazy schedule but it's for a small company and my boss is pretty great. (except he might be a serial killer... but that's a different story.) My job also includes travel once a week minimum to work directly with a client. No problem... it's a typical office building. Basically, my working conditions have always been pretty normal... Dare I say it?


Until I starting trying to have a baby.... That's when shit got weird.

First, my co-worker got pregnant... accidentally of course. (Is there any other way? Irony you are a cruel cruel mistress) THAT wasn't so bad... We had just started "trying" and I thought maybe I would have a pregnancy buddy. (HA!) As time wore on and I realized things weren't working for me the way they should it was slightly annoying but I could deal with it.

One thing I loved/now hate about my Boss is that he thinks children are a number one priority in a Mother's life.  So once my co-worker came back to work... the baby came to the office with her. And since we have an open floor plan in the office... That means the baby is within sight and hearing distance at all times. So although the baby is adorable and although I know my co-worker isn't doing this on purpose, it makes some days pretty difficult to get through. (Especially when Aunt Flow comes to town. Generally I try to keep my eye on the prize... one day I too will be able to save in daycare. I can't have to endure all this for a big fat goose egg right?)

So for the past 6 months most days at work I get to work in close proximity to the goal. My one day a week client visit offered an escape... Until yesterday.

A woman, Kelly,  in that office recently gave birth. She just started back at work on Monday. (And since she isn't a manager she works in an open cube.)For some office political reason, I have an office space with a door when I work there... I have no idea why and to say that this has made me unpopular with the cubists (aka The Cankle Crew) would be an understatement.

Well, yesterday I come back to my "office" after a meeting and find a note on the door... "Room is in use... should be done by 11:30am"... The woman in the office next door offered to let me sit in her office until Kelly was done. As soon as my butt hit her chair she starts asking me when I am going to have kids. How great kids are, and how I don't want to waste my good baby making years.  At around this point I just want to start beating my head against her wall but that wouldn't go over well with office politics and I don't want to lose the account for my boss over my pathetic uterus.

I seriously contemplated saying... "Well Lynn, those are very good questions. I am currently struggling with infertility. In fact, I popped some fertility pills when I got into work this morning. Why don't you continue on this line of questioning until my hormonal rage kicks in and you can spend a few weeks on medical leave? That would be a win win for both of us."

Luckily when Kelly was done she promptly popped in to tell me that my office was free and that she successfully pumped 3oz of milk and that she would need the room again at 3pm. (awesome)

I know breast pumping is a normal thing that has to happen. I get it. And none of these people know that I am currently battling infertility.  But the shit storm of "in your face baby" that is parading through my office space is starting to get out of hand.

Pregnant people at work?  Fine.  
Kids in the office when they are off from school? OK.
Baby pictures ALL over facebook/your desk/your phone? Sure.
Baby drooling on my sticky notes? Annoying but ok, whatever, I'll get new ones.
My office being used as a Dairy? Really??? Really? Is this really what my life has become?

Honestly I feel like I have stumbled upon a new circle of hell. The only thing worse that I could imagine would be working at a day care, or maternity ward or something similar whilst battling infertility.

So now this is my work life... Computer Guru and Dairy Maid. 


  1. Kinda feels like the universe is giving you the finger, huh? I love how it can't just be one thing that kicks you right in the ovaries... it has to be like ten at one time.

    Your posts always crack me up, thanks for a little infertility comic relief!

  2. That has to be tough for you. When we were trying it seemed like babies and pregnant people were everywhere I went. But at least I didn't have a baby in my office every day!

  3. so glad you have a sense of humor with a terrible situation!! i would not be handling it as well as you- wouldnt it shock them if you put a note on the door that room is in use "for infertility treatments" - lol try that one on for size! if it makes you feel any better i work with two women who just had grandbabies (yes I know, different but stressful) and one woman plays videos of her grandbaby crying and giggling from across a HUGE Library and then calls teachers around to listen to it. then there was the time she started a conversation with a male teacher whose wife just gave birth so they could go over every detail- including what she was doing while she pushed!!!
    AND I WORK IN A LIBRARY! a library for HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS!!! they dont need to know that shit!

    hang in there!

  4. That is crappy! That is suck a punch in the gut, or maybe the face even! Can't you tell her to find a new area? Like the bathroom?!?!

  5. My office seems to also have the baby / toddler thing happening, except it's all new young dads! And they're printing their pictures out, asking me to help them make slideshows for the grandparents, meeting bubs n mum at lunchtime etc. Which is fine, and would even be adorable if it weren't for the fact that my husband is nearly twice my age, with a vasectomy, and we can't afford treatment. I have decided that nowhere is safe! Except perhaps here online :P

  6. Oh God, that'd be hard to even have your office taken over! UGH.

  7. I don't understand why your office has to be the one she uses. Send her elsewhere.

  8. I just read all of your blogs, and haven't laughed that hard since I got my bad news last month. I am adding you to my blogroll!
    Let's be friends.
    Oh, and a STRANGER pumped her breast milk in my office last week. Water everywhere indeed!