Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Continued Saga of Wildlife, Drug Abuse and Infertility

Have you heard about these assholes?

Sure he might look cute and cuddly but that my friends is the face of a drug addict. Pretty much koala bears just sit around eating eucalyptus and having black out sex. I am not kidding.

Wildlife Black Out Sex.

I know what you're thinking... That doesn't sound so bad. It sounds kind of delightful. Who doesn't want to  get mellow and then wake up in a strange bed with mirrors on the ceiling, your panties on your head and unicorn spunk on the walls? In fact, that sounds like a pretty eventful afternoon.

Except you can't remember any of it.

Because you were high on eucalyptus.

And that cuddly koala left you with a little present.


Ummmm no... this is an infertility blog remember.

Something much more sinister... Like Chlamydia.


Koala's have Chlamydia and now their entire population is in danger of becoming extinct because Chlamydia causes infertility.

So next time you're at the zoo and you see a cute koala on the corner and he hands you a baggy of crushed up leaves and tells you the first hit is free kick him in his furry nut sack and tell him you don't want to board his magical sex express even if it does include unicorns in thongs!

Just remember. If we all band together we can give infertility the middle finger. It will get us down but it won't beat us. We will never give up hope and we will never surrender!

So fuck you infertility and your little henchmen the koala bear! We're on to your games. And we aren't gonna take it!

We Are The Champions Motherfucker!
RIP - Freddy Mercury who died of AIDS...probably from a koala... because they are assholes like that.

PS - I'm posting this to my facebook because I battled infertility and came out on top. But it works even if you are still in the trenches because we are all champions and Mother Nature can go fuck herself!

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